"Your killin me smalls"
You all are Tards, and I say that with love. Sorry I have not been able to cut y'all off sooner, we have been ubber busy with temple practices daily, it is next weekend so be sure y'all got ur T.V.'s set on Feb 2nd & 3rd, I will get the for sure info this weekned. My baby will be there dancing away.
84 comments:
Do you realize how much sense this post made?
um yeah....about as much as the last random 10 comments on the previous.........but I still lovey them...xoxo
One time I went to see People Under The Stairs with Mandi, except I told the ticket taker "People Under The Buttocks". I'm awesome. Last night, I mean Saturday night I went and saw with Mandoo the film titled "The Orphanage". I misread the the title, and I thought the film was going to be about Oprah. I was disappointed when I realized it was a scary story about some orphans that die and then decide that instead of going to the spirit world, they'll just hang out in the orphanage and scare people and maybe even steal their kid. There's a kid named Tomas that wears a sack over his head like a scarecrow. he breathes weird. The reason he has a sack on his head and he breathes weird is because his face is horribly deformed. He is also a ghost. He was killed by the other kids accidentally. The one who killed them is a weird lady that gets hit by a truck. Hey, spoiler alert, by the way. Dont read that last 3 sentences if you havent seen it and plan to.
It was in Spanish, which I dont mind, but I do mind that they spoke the Spain spanish, with a lot of THs when they should say S. That bugged.
It also bugs when ghosts can do physical things. Everyone knows that ghosts can only blow out candles or move pennies up a wall, not push people or open doors. You know?
I got this book that has the year's best sf stories for 2006. Many of the stories start out by dropping you into the middle of a foreign situation without providing background on the characters or circumstances. This kind of story annoys me. One story in particular was especially annoying because not only were the characters and circumstances foreign, but the language was also. About 10% of the words were Indian and they were the keystone words like verbs and nouns. As an example, I will now write a similar story using my own made up language in case anyone else also speaks the only other foreign language that I do which is Pakistani.
He knew he would never blupchick the mantineras. He removed his dreff and cordimed. In another few moments, the reffrit would tobbace. It's refui in deffds. What kind Ikddef is frggh? He iolled himself a frww.
Fun to read, huh? When I like to read, I like to read for pleasure and/or confusion. Mostly confusion. That's a sentiment that I seek.
IN choir, we sang "I Need Thee Every Something". When we were practicing it, on Sunday morning, the women came in with a harsh OOOooooooh. I stopped them adn said that the Oooh they were singing during Calvins solo was too staccato, or attack-heavy. I drew a picture on the chalboard of a horizontal carrot pointing right. I said. "Heres how you sang it just now. The Ooooh came in bluntly and dully."I then erased the top or head of the carrot and tapered it. "This is how I want you ladies to come in. Sharpen the carrot, so it's a nice, evenly-transitioned, slowly buiding oooOOOOOOooooh. Keep the carrot sharp"
Then during the actual performance in Sac Meeting, at the part when the ladies come in, I pantomimed eating a carrot so they would remember. A few of them giggled, which Made me angry. I hate it when they act silly and dont have the spirit when we're singing.
Theres a lady that doesnt like me in choir. She stopped coming.
Theres a lady named Downtrodden Mousy that I think hates me. But she still comes. She's married to a guy I like to call Crazy Frog, because he resembles a frog that's mentally unbalanced. He used to be a cop.
The rest of them like me. Except this one lady that I think is bugged that I didnt ask her to do the solo. Ill have her do it next time, so she'll like me again.
Usually I get a lot of people taht come up afterwards and tell me how great it sounded. None did this time, so I think we sucked. I disagree. I thought it was pretty good. GO stick your head in a bum.
You have want to read the story from my previous comment then here it is that way you can know and realize if you want too i have a story to tell you about one time when i was young and living in australia i think you are going to enjoy this and when i say you i mean you nan and carrie and sherri and paul and possibly mandi though she may be in the kitchen making a salmon toastwich or something weird so there i was floating a straw in the public fountain in the park containing no fewer than 800 peoples all was going well my straw was not failing me it was performing its intended duties as well as could be expected under the circumstances but wait what's this my straw appears to be attempting to distance itself from me i had better grab it before it goes too far away and i am left to sit on the edge of this fountain with nothing to occupy myself i reached out to grab the straw balancing on the edge of the fountain with one knee but i reached too far and into the drink i went i hit my head pretty hard on the tile lining the fountain because i think i blacked out for a small moment but my inability to breathe in that locale promptly brought me to the attention of my circumstance everyone laughed at me because i am a funny guy it was hot that day so my wet clothes came in handy and i didn't even have to do something else
ha ha that was awsum when you fel in i almost did that a coupl times too once i :) was playing bombardo Like dodgeball u know and the bell rang and a mean older kid kikt my ball way far and kids were runnign past so i ternd to run aftr it and i hit a girl with my hed rilly hard and her chin split open and my head opend too adn i was knockt out and i woke up in the nursess offic and wow i hear my mom say r u ok and i hada ig bandage, and the girl had to get stitches and i got 7 stichs cause we crasht so hard :(i hate kids that un know r mean too kids for no reason cause thats why i had to tern and run aftr the ball so i had stiches taht time and once on my chin from a different time on my mission and once on my head again, cause i fell off the bleechers at the orem high when i was a kid and most recently on my thhum cause i squished it in a weight macheen taht i was tryig to fix at my home and the weighths smashed it really hard :( and i sent to the hospital u know wher my sister works and now its ok :)
Carrie, I'm glad you have a sense of humor about this! We ARE tards.
mmmmm Bon Jovi.....me likey...Especially now not so much then. Ok so I watched Nacho Libre and I know I have said this, but this show gives me many a giggle. Paul ghosts have been known to hold people down, and have there way with peoples, and Joel why ever would a straw distance itself from you???????????????
hey taht reminds me that i saw a trailer for a movie taht looks supa good it has the lip girl from desperate housewifes that married the bastball player and theres also a redhaired girl and paul rudd and the one girl dies and comes back as a ghost and doesnt like that he gets a new girlfriend so she tryes to innerfear with there relationship and even floats above them wwhen there gettin busy if you know wha t i mean :) and shes like AAAAHa nd the guy says what and shes all oh it just feels so good but that would be FREAKY to have a ghost haunt you and the best part was when the girl dies because a ice angel falls on her and her face is all aaaaaah that would be a funny and sad way to dye i think i cant remember te name of the movie but it looks really super funney and i HAVE 2 go see it maybe its called ghost of a chance or giving up the ghost or getting into the spirit of things or my ex-feance is a ghost or the ghost of wednesdaqy past or ghost girl be trippin or the medium that sees a ghost, when all she wanted was a man no that would be too long maybe its called oh no you ditnt cause the new girl has a bad attitude and hates the new girlfreind i have to see it
Did you know ghosts have been known to hold people down? Cause I know that.
Once again Paul u have gotten me to laugh to the point of tears, and might I just add u are certainly watching some interesting movies. I think movie night this summer should be some what interesting.
i should never go to the dentist again look what i missed
once i was athe massage therapist that came to my work adn she gave me a coopahn for a free reiki healing and it came with a fullbody massage so i was all yes and i went to her studio and she said you can either leave your underweer on or just get naked but by the time she had finished the sentce i was neekid so i git under s heeet and she rubbed me all over it was NICE and came the reiki reikie is energy healing, kind of like massage butt with less rubbing and more bullsh&$%**( she held her hands over my hed and asked ifi had anyone dead to talk to so i sed ihave a lot of peopl that are ded in my family and she sayed theres someone in this room and she discribed him and i saiyd that is my uncle and she talked about all these things about him and his mustash and i said hes not dead tho so she dint really kno who it was but she told me to let go of my angur for my dad and consentrated on that so it could be a nice heeling session and so i did let go of that because then she had a big indian drum that she held over my head and banged on and then went up adn down my body with the drum and the vibrations mad eht anger melt away ir something and also she chanted some prayers and flufft my aura it was crazy man
Apparitions - Either visually seeing a ghost or more often sensing a ghost presence. Apparitions include; noises heard, rapping, thumping and knocking sounds, cold chills and winds, also the smelling of strong ODORS.
Paul are you a ghost?
Did you know that this (noises heard, rapping, thumping and knocking sounds, cold chills and winds, also the smelling of strong ODORS.) wouldnt happen in old houses unless there's ghosts?
really? how's your flufft aura?
She fluft ur aura?? Imagine an old hous making noises and smelling...how odd is that.
It's good it was getting a little bit matted down adn coarse it need fluffing
Once when ah' wuz wo'kin' at McDonald's dis popo joker came dru de roll dru in his cruiser. Ah be baaad... He had o'dered some cheeseburga' wid 'estra pickles. A few minutes afta' I gave him his o'der, he came back into de sto'e and he wuz livid. Dere wuz no pickles on his cheeseburger. Ah be baaad... He started screamin' about how he had o'dered 'estra pickles and he gots no pickles. ah' told him dat ah' would snatch care uh it and he grabbed me by de droat and started shakin' me and yellin' about his stupid pickles! Right on! Whut am ah' supposed t'do? Go back in time and put 'estra pickles on his cheeseburg? Lamquen! Right on! De managa' saw whut wuz happenin' and ran back t'de office t'call de honky pigs. ah' wuz strugglin' fo' bread and two customers wuz yellin' at da damn cop t'let me go. 'S coo', bro. No one wants'ed t'get into it wid dis dude cuz' he wuz obviously instable and we felt certain dat he would gots no compuncshuns about drawin' his gun and poppin' some caps into some few uh us. He finally let me go and his transista' started blarin' at him. WORD! Dispatch wuz tryin' t'get ahold uh him t'tell him t'calm de crap waaay down. When he realized whut he had done he ran out uh de sto'e and jumped in his cruiser, turned on de lights/siren and plowed out uh dere. ah' wuz cryin' cuz' de dude had scared da damn hooby doobies outta me plus mah' droat hurt likes sump'n dat hurts some lot. Man! Anoda' offica' came in and he started t'snatch mah' repo't but afta' only some few wo'ds fum me he looked me sternly in de face and said "I highly recommend ya' not repeat whut ya' gots plum told me t'any sucka." And den he left. Man! Wait. Not me. That was someone else.
Joel I am so proud ya got in touch with ur inner gangsta.
did you guys know about the Greenbriar bunker in west virginia?
details women?
You mean the Greenbrier bunker. Yes, I watched a show on the History Channel about it.
The name Reiki derives from the Japanese pronunciation of two Japanese characters that describe the energy itself: "rei" (meaning 'spiritual') and "ki" (Chinese qi, here meaning 'losd of horseshi*' or 'manure'). In English, the meaning of Reiki is often given as 'massage without the pleasure' (a translation used by Hawayo Takata). The noun commonly refers to either the energy or the therapeutic method which uses the energy. Reiki is also used as a verb and an adjective, as in "After the Reiki Master reiki'd me, I went to the bathroom and just farted and farted.". Japanese speakers use the term as a generic 'spiritual poo' while the Usui Method of Reiki Healing is specifically Usui reiki shiki ryoho. Similarly, the practice is sometimes called Usui-do or Usui-no-michi ("the Way of Commercially Licensed Legitimacy").
The bullcrap involved in a Reiki treatment is said to be 'from the Universe,' rather than the personal bullcrap of the practitioner, and is therefore inexhaustible.(Some teachings say that the bullcrap enters the practitioner through the crown chakra at the top of the head, before being emitted from the mouth.) As a consequence, Reiki practitioners are taught that they can treat themselves with Reiki. This is similar to the practice of multilevel marketers purchasing their own product.
Animals and plants are usually treated for shorter periods than humans, since they are not paying for the treatment. The duration of treatment, and number of hand positions used, depends on factors such as the size of the recipient , the severity of the condition being addressed, and ticks. In the absence of disease, some practitioners enjoy giving Reiki to animals or plants, sometimes as a loving interaction, but mostly as something to fill the time as the LSD wears off.
http://www.avhub.net/congressionalhideawaygreenbriar.htm
i was watching that too, at the dentist office
There is too much truth to eastern medicine.
I dont know what the greenbriar bunker is, and thanks to Sherri's link,I still don't know.
Look at the large amounts of knowledge we have learned today.
There are only two truths in the world and i will enumerate them for you now:
1) Ghosts and supernatural things
2) Eastern medicine
3) Multilevel marketing schemes
If you want to delve into any of those further then I give you my full and hearty blessing.
Name this movie....Nan will know- "Heffay would u say I have a plethura of piniata's??" (whoever guess's first gets a prize)
"Ghost Hunter" on the History channel is real. So real. If you watch it then you might learn to understand how real. They take what's real about ghosts, add some reality, and then put it in a reality TV show context, which is already pretty real.
In fact, I'm glad they call reality TV that, because it is real. No script. They're not told where to stand, what to do and what to say, it's just reality that's filmed. You betcha it's real.
Multilevel marketing makes friendship even realer by adding the pressure of buying things that don't do much, at a price that can support higher levels of people over the people selling them. So you better believe that's real. I like it when they say "opportunity" because it implies that there is a benefit.
As far as medicine goes, if it's eastern, it's guaranteeably real. Just ask the immortal and unaged asians.
3 Amigos. What do I win?
Ya I have seen that show and it is actually pretty creepy on some parts, what was that haunted house and then a haunted convent we went too?
I will mail your treat tomorrow, give me address.
what creeps me out is the ghosts. The ones that exist in this show and in life.
Carrie, If you want me to post my address in a publicly visible location like this post-it note forum then all you have to do is ask.
well how am I suppose to mail ya a treat????
I know which ghosts you're talking about Paul. They creep the crap out of me. (You're not talking about the fake ghosts, the ones that are made up and unexplainable by other means, right? You're talking about the REAL ones that REALLY exist and not all those fake ones which are altogether different from the real ones)
Ghost hunters international is the best i like how each person always has the same experience no matter where they go. its like the ghosts all talk and say make sure you appear as a black figure in from of john and always brush julies arm.
this week they r going to some place in england that looks ubber creepy!! It previewed this a.m.
I wish they would hire me to go ghosts like to appear before me
Ya I would have to wear an adult diaper!!!
Sherri, would you please stop making so much sense? I'm about to reach total enlightenment upon reading your last comment.
Ubber UBBER CREEPY! Yes! I think that I will indeed be creeped out when the ghost that the ghost hunters seek out appears or manifests itself in arm-brushing ways. I hope the reality doesnt overwhelm them or me watching from home when i do watch it and be creeped out
lets go to europe and do our of ghost hunting, we would rock it!
my crap, where has the day gone? maybe ghosts stole it. maybe sherri has ever seen a ghost, maybe ghost hunters is real.
OK I SSSSSOOOOOOO AM UP FOR THAT!!!
I am writing to you from the ephemeral portal of beyond enlightenment. Sherri's comments paved the way. They mode more sense than I could withstand and the forces of truth plundered the depths of my intuition until all knowledge consumed my being.
sO U R WRITING FROM pAUL'S NOSTRIL??????
HA!! is that where you've gone to Joel?
I fear those are not ghosts that you see.
heeheee
There are 2 things that ghosts do. I will list them here in order of descending importance:
a) brush people's arms
@) scare people
#) exist
I am going to urge you all to pay particular attention to number #, because it is the most important one. Ghosts exist and period!
we are well on our way to reaching 100 again
i adopted a manatee named Flicker today. I like to adopt one every year. january is the best time of year to see them in florida
I adopted a meth addict. His name is Thugs (I call him Thugsy because it's cute) and they send me photos of him every few weeks. The last one I got has him laying on the bathroom floor in a puddle of vomit. He almost made it! What a rascal. He's adorable.
In Chinese reckonin', de wo'ld be populated by some vast numba' of spirits, both baaaad and evil. Such spirits include nature demons, evil spirits o' devils, and ghosts. Evil spirits is recon'd t'avoid light, so's many rituals involvin' fire and light gots developed, such as de use uh bonfires, firecrackers, and to'ches. Evil spirits is also tradishunally recon'd t'travel in straight lines, which 'esplains many curvy roads droughout China. WORD! But not all spirits is evil — some is plum unhappy. Slap mah fro! As evidenced by de practice uh ancesto' wo'ship, most Chinese sucka's recon' de souls uh de deceased endure afta' dead and gots'ta be kep' happy by offerin's and hono'.
In mainland China, belief in ghosts and evil spirits be declinin' unda' de influence uh adeistic Communism. WORD! But in Taiwan, which split fum China in 1949, de vast majo'ity uh de populashun (puh'haps as much as 90%) recon's in ghosts. Late-night television be filled wid video uh haunted cribs and ghost-bustin' and afterlife 'espuh'ts make some baaaad business uh advisin' distressed clients on how t'appease deir angry ancesto's.
I'm going to paint now.
Bad joke time (i did not make these up):
How do you have a party in outer space?
You plan-et.
How do you know the Sun came up today?
Utah (you saw) it.
OYSN, joke.
Yikes! I'm going back to painting.
Sherri, What are you painting?
Today a girl called me and asked me to take NEKED pictures of her for her boyfriend for Valentimes day. I told her that I didn't believe in Valentimes day because I was Jewish. She didn't believe me so I told her that I really wasn't all that Jewish but partly because I said I am. So I finally said, go to this guy who isn't jewish because he will take NEKED pics because he "love the ladies" if you know what I mean... she says "NO! I will be embarassed with a guy because my boobies are kinda ugly. Also I heard that you were really good at photoshop." I say hey i'm not a boobie doctor and you need to get some info from Carrie's sister because now she has pretty ones. And how can you want NEKED pictures because won't your boyfriend know that your boobies are ugly and not want to have proof of that for all his buddies? But finally she believed I was jewish and I am not taking her pictures. All of this is true. Except the jewish thing, I'm only half Jewish.
I don't like Valentimes Day.
Now I'm torn. Should I get valentines day cards made of Nanette's super awesome valentimes day graphic or should I have Nan take neked pics of me for my valentines day cards?
I'll take NEKED pictures and you can use your awesome photoshop abilities to put yourself on a valentimes card dancing with the monster. Dang I'm good.
Joel will u be passing those out to all your loved ones?? I am sure they will think there Valentines day complete with those and some chocolate!!
Carrie, I'm glad you finally showed up here. Did you send my prize?
Que Pablo, The gift I want to give you for your birthday which is on Saturday will not arrive until early April. Please wait patiently because it will be worth it. And if you can't wait patiently, then I will give you a bottlecap candy next time I see you. That should assuage. Happy birthday coming up! I'm so excited! I can't wait for you to be older.
Paul, for your birthday, I will take pictures of you NEKED and you may give them to whomever for Valentimes and you will thank me for them even though they will be the best gift ever because I will make your boobies look not ugly. Your Welcome.
I can wait patiently, Leoj Can Dodge. Thank you for your thoughtfulness already.
Nan, I would like my boobs unphotoshopped. I want to be on a red velvet sofa reclining with a banana in my mouth. maybe some lacey sheer tapestry in the background.
Happy birthday que pablo! You're getting prettier every year.
Wow, Joel. your Mom was right. You are into porn.
Do you mean I'm into homosexuality? Because that is different from porn and I don't think my mom has made any statements regarding any potential proclivities I may or may not have in that regard.
I will happily consult your mother on this and maybe she can get you a write-up as to her feelings by mail time tomorrow.
I hope I didn't lose that letter! Lamquen! Sherri must read it.
Oh good. I'm anxious to hear what she has to say about it.
Sherri, if Mandi can't find the letter don't feel too bad. It was not all that entertaining. Then again, maybe a disinterested party like Paul or Mandi would be a better judge of that.
It is found once again.
I guess it wasn't THAT funny, but it was sort of crazy-ish, and it said "Dearest Family" twice, which I enjoyed. Yeah, it's probably better in your imaginings, Sherri.
Dearest Family? Is that your pet name Joel?
er... yes?
Do you not realize that she sent a copy to everyone in the family and addresses all her children and their spouses?
well, i haven't actually read it. You know.
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